So I leave..

Being a cynic was never my thing but someday or other you become someone or do something you do not want to do.

I have always been more emotional than being practical but now emotions just dont matter to me !!(and I wonder why ??) Yes I am having good old emotional relations but in the new ones as soon as emotions start getting involved, I start choking and prefer to leave.

This is not me. This has never been me. Emotions can never scare me but now they do. I am afraid to get close and then let go. I do not want to get addicted with any thing that I know(or think) is temporary. I am afraid of ending up lonely. Have I got what I deserved ?

So I just leave ...

But sometimes I want to feel the pain so I go down the whole memory lane by myself shedding tears and feeling  the change and it makes me strong but kills me more but I like it.

I am not afraid of pain anymore. All I am afraid of is listening to "Us" after "You and I".

So I leave every single time I sense it.

But I want to return back !! but to whom and when ?? I do not know.

So I will keep on leaving till the day I would not be allowed to leave, till the day my heart would skip its beats, till the day I would be held tight and till the day I would not want to leave !!