Rape - Put a stop to this please!

This heinous crime, more than a crime, it is an inhumane want to fulfil one’s desire that makes people cross all boundaries and act alike savages. These savages don’t feed on the meat but the soul and sensitivity of a human being. The desire turns these social animals into devils for whom there is no right or wrong, no hell or heaven, just an extremely strong desire to have sex with another human, of being powerful, and enforcing this power through the act of sex. It is the destruction of female innocence.

Rapes are very often related to women but in this 21st century, even men are facing this monstrous issue. They do not come to fore because such cases as compared to women’s rapes are not reported.

I, being a woman, am scared to get out of my house in dark because of these criminals, these animals, who, to fulfil their own sexual desires, eat away our souls.  Well, for these people, it doesn’t matter if the female has a fully grown body or not. All they want is a hole to put their penis in. The reports of juvenile girls getting raped are a proof of this.

Many theories say that cussing is one’s way to let the anger out but for these savages, no cuss word would ever be enough. Being born and brought up in a metro city has definitely given me the liberty of visiting places during dark time but when alone, it has always scared me. I do not confess this in front of anyone but travelling alone in an auto rickshaw which sometimes takes shortcuts through narrow lanes scares the seven hells out of me.

People protest very strongly when such cases are reported, videos on social media are shared, candle marches are organised but these are all the result of anger. It is a mental pain for the people who feel deeply for the victims, but for the victims it is a constant physical, mental and emotional pain.

The victims are sometimes found dead, that is something which demands execution of the rapists right away but we only wish things were so easy. First the woman is robbed of her dignity and then during her last minutes, she is treated like an animal. Imagining that gives me a cold shudder down my spine.

People or say feminists talk about women empowerment. Social media platforms are used to create a buzz but how do such articles, videos, debates and opinions empower a woman? Can a woman feel safe wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts in a dark lane? Does her inner strength protect her from the animals who are ready to grab and finish her? The answer is neither yes nor no. It lies in a grey space where not just the rapist is responsible but also the circumstances. This heinous crime cannot ever be justified and demands quick action. An understanding of the cause might prevent other innocent humans from such situation in future. After all, prevention is definitely better than the cure. So what causes rapists take this action? Is it the desperateness to have sex with someone? Is it the need to have pleasure by being sexually violent? Does the need to feel powerful by forcing someone to have sexual intercourse become so important? Does the need to inflict pain become the only remainder of eroticism? The reasons can be many and controlling this crime requires not only strong laws but a deep understanding of human psychology as well. Rape is a disorder, an act of sexual violence which is so disgustingly brutal that its cases make people question the basics of humanity. Such cases have many dimensions, social, criminal and psychological. The right manner to deal with them is crucial in our nation.

The shocking fact is in 9 out of 10 cases, the culprit is known to the victim. That is one disgusting and threatening fact. Being raped by someone you know can be horrifying.

So are the facts and figures that we are getting straight and correct? I think not. The social stigma and the mental pain already caused to the victim can be one of the major reasons that the victim doesn’t come out and report the crime. Also, the insensitivity shown towards the victims by the police personnel is one factor that makes victims feel more uncomfortable to come out and state what happened everything again to a bunch of strangers. The unreported cases of sexual assaults and rapes make it difficult to understand the clearer picture of what is happening where and when.

According to a Commonwealth Human Rights Initiative (CHRI) analysis of reported rape cases in India between 2001 and 2013 were 2,64,130 in 28 states during the 13-year period, an average of almost 56 incidents of rape per day. Roughly it can be said, in our nation, a woman is raped every 30 minutes. Now that’s a grossly shocking figure.

We need to understand that rapists are created, not born. They are created when boys and men are taught by society, media, and adults, that women and girls do not deserve respect as human beings. They are created by the cultural stigma in our society that is quick to forgive and sympathize with the attacker and far quicker to doubt, question, and blame the victim. The misogynists keep reminding the victims that they were the cause of it, not the rapist.

Such perspectives encourage the notion that rapists are not doing something wrong. It was the woman’s outfit, her past behaviour or her hanging out at the club. A false representation of masculinity that the actions of boys and men are beyond their control and it is on the women to protect themselves. It keeps women in danger and becomes a generalization for all men, some of them who respect women, know how to control their actions and understand the true sense of masculinity.

What is the cause of this crime? How can it be stopped? Most of the times, our focus is on how to help the victims but we need to focus on stopping this. There have been many men who rape women frequently to calm their egos to tell themselves they are strong enough. The sad part is they never get caught. We need to change the mindset of the people. We need to teach the people to change their mentality from ‘do not get raped’ to ‘do not rape’. We need to teach the men that a girl wearing short clothes is not inviting you to have sex with her. A girl who is drinking in a bar is not asking you to touch her with or without her consent. Telling women to carry a knife or pepper spray, advising her on how to dress, asking her not to drink is not rape prevention. It is to teach the boys and men that women are not just some sex toys. It is to make them realise rape is not just a physical crime but also an emotional, physical and mental crime. It is to make them understand that it is important to respect women and treat them as equals. It is to teach them the healthy and non-violent masculinity. It is to teach them that inhumanity in any form is unjust.

Scared together.

It was a dark night but she had her faith. As the night got darker and winds more chilly, she started losing it but then he grabbed her hand from behind. He was there. She was there. Losing hopes together but together. That is what she needed, to be together. In pain, in sorrow, on a land where unhappy things fornicated, they held each other’s hands till the end they found it again. Hope and Faith.

Always and Forever

The world is the only entity one should be aware of and believe in, which also will be destructed soon. Everyone and everything else is temporary. The power of nature is beyond our imagination.

Nothing belongs to anything. No one is with anyone. Everything is alone. Single. You're alone.

We want to make our wish a reality but that is not under our control.

The people who say they're with you, say that because they want to be with you but again that isn't true.

Everything is ideal, not rational, because we, homo sapiens are afraid of the reality. We try to hide under the blanket of this ideality. It is right. What is the harm in protecting ourselves? But one shall never forget the truth. Everything is alone. Single. You're alone. 

Always and forever.

Their first kiss!

In that empty room, were seating two fucked up yet beautiful souls, talking and sharing how life had been to them. It started raining so she got up to leave. There was a high flow of emotions.  Unspoken words. Unexpressed feelings. She started walking towards the door. Something was missing. They hugged each other and she left. As she was walking down the stairs, she knew something was wrong about the moment. She didn't know when they would see other again. She had to do it right. Her guts were stopping her from walking downstairs.

She went back, rang the bell.

He: What happened? Did you forget something?

She: Yes, kind of. You said, you are a good kisser, show me how good you are!

He grabbed her by the waist and pinned her to the wall.

And they kissed!

That was the first kiss of the magnificent story of two fucked up yet beautiful souls. There started another story of their lives.

Back then it was just another story of their lives, today it is the story of their lives! The story which they thought, they won’t be writing.

Finally they have found someone they could laugh with and stay happy while being silent. With each other, they are themselves. Two beautiful, crazy, angry, hurt, paranoid, weird, cynic yet optimist, jealous, happy and in love souls.

Now that is called something special, a happy place, a place where love exists!

On the top of a cliff

I want to climb on the top of a cliff and look around in all directions. I want to see the buildings and roads as tiny as an ant. I want to sit there in peace and not give a fuck about anything. With a chicken ham sandwich and a corona, I just want to stare at everything around me.

I will be right in the middle of the land and the sky. The feeling of being in the middle of it yet nowhere. That feeling sucks, it sucks monkey balls! But you need to feel it once in a while. The feeling of being nowhere.

As I sit there eating and drinking, I listen to some songs. Songs which will make me feel more alone may be. The songs which will make me think of all the crappy things in my life. I need to feel so low at times so that I can rise, so that I can rise above all the bullshit and feel strong. I know I can handle everything, I just need to be vulnerable at times, really pathetic because then I stop talking. I think and very few words come to my mind.  I keep those words to myself, think about them over and over and move on from that crap. This whole process sucks, it sucks monkey balls but every once in a while I need to go through it to know who I am and what do I want at that specific moment.

I want to see the sunset, I want to see that beautiful round orange figure get darker and darker and disappear in clouds far away. As it disappears, starts shining the substitutes, the stars and the moon. The substitutes are many and they are beautiful. As I lay down looking at the dark sky shining bright with the stars and the moon, I delve deeper into the fuckeries of my life. I cannot close my eyes, I get scared if I do that. My lips are sealed, my eyes are wide open staring at the sky and my ears are following each and every beat of the music I am listening to.

I look at those infinite stars. They shine everyday making the sky look the prettiest dark thing ever, without them the sky is just a bunch of dark and scary clouds. Amidst those stars, shines the moon. The calm, serene, subtle and beautiful moon. I can just keep look at that beautiful thing forever and never close my eyes. It looks white yet a little pale as if it is tired of being in that state. That imperfection makes it look even prettier.

We humans are a lot like that moon. Basically we are a round figure but our shape and light keeps changing every day. Without the change, the moon wouldn’t be the moon, it would be just another shining star in that dark sky. The moon is surrounded by the stars yet it shines alone. I keep looking at it and tears keep falling down my eyes. The eyes are shiny and watery. They look beautiful. Everything is beautiful about that night on the top of the cliff but everything doesn’t give a happy feeling. Not all beautiful things can make you happy. It sucks, it sucks monkey balls but it happens. Those things might make you content for a while but definitely not happy. Now that is just another fuckery of life!

But these fuckeries make you strong, wise and give you an experience you need to live the life ahead.

The night is getting darker and darker, it has a lust, the wicked charm which is making me lose control. The thoughts are getting deeper and deeper and finally after hours my mind starts getting tired of swimming in my thoughts. I want to keep my eyes open but with every blink, they are getting closed for a longer time period.  In that messy cluster of thoughts, I close my eyes. I am lying on that cliff with the enormous sky as my blanket. In that alluring night, I lay alone on the top of the world, underneath the sky, running in my dreamland where everything is beautiful and brings happiness. A  place where I am myself and no one judges my deeds, a place where people aren’t mean and rude, they are just straightforward, a place where I don’t have to think for million times before talking to someone, a place where water is pure and blue, a place where things aren’t twisted, a place that is erotic, a place where only the language of peace is spoken, a place where I do whatever the fuck I want to do, a place which is my dreamland.

No judgment please!

We live in The Incredible India, the place where people judge you by the way you dress up, talk, walk, eat, live and do everything. People who don’t even know you, people passing you by on a road, people you are working with etc. judge you and keep that perception about you in their mind.

Obviously judgmental nature comes with the human nature but at least get to know the person and then stick to your perception.

The girl sitting alone on the last bench with her earphones plugged in, had got attitude if she is not talking to anyone. If guys of her class approach her and talk to her then she is a slut because she talks to guys only. The girl talking sweetly with everyone is a flirt. The girl getting frank soon is easy going. The girl wearing shorts, partying and boozing is easy to take to bed. The girl who is flirting wants to have sex with you and it goes on and on. I mean come on, you have no clue what is going in her head and why she is like this? Stop taking everything in a twisted way, for once stop making perceptions!

May be she is a screw up and all she needs at the moment is no judgment.

Stop judging! Everyone has his/her own issues and you don’t know what that person is actually feeling because of them, unless you know the person or you have been through the person in that phase.

I am writing this from a girl's perspective because I and my girl-friends have experienced this. It gets hard when you can’t be yourself with people around. Everyone goes or is going through some thing and that changes the person a little bit. Instead of being all judgmental, prefer to be quiet and supportive or if you can't be supportive, just be quiet.

This judgmental nature of people pisses me off. This has been the reason so many times when I have seen people doing something which they don’t want to but are doing just to escape from the judgment. You may not realize but your judgmental nature is sometimes harsh and if it goes on for long then people might avoid sharing their problems with you. So try not to be judgmental. Just try it once. It makes you feel good and most importantly the people around you. 

The Un-happiness

Warning: Those who are in a good mood or having a good day, kindly DO NOT READ this as you might get nostalgic. Bookmark the page and save it for a better time!

It poisons your thoughts from inside. It makes you think of all of the bad stuff ever happened to you and makes you feel that your life is full of crap. It is a bitch, I swear! It makes you crazy in teeny tiny bits. You try to remain positive and calm but nothing helps. You feel like the loneliest person with no shoulders to cry on. You feel lazy, sad and pathetic. It makes you do things you never thought you would do and the worst part is you enjoy doing those things. It makes you listen to the same song again and again till you feel completely hollow. It changes you and turns you into a different person. A changed and different you. Whether you like it or not, it happens. You have fights with your loved ones. You want them to take care of you but somewhere you want to be all alone like you are some super-hero! You are confused about everything. You don’t want to face anyone, you don’t want to smile anymore and be sweet to anyone.

All you feel is depressed and shitty the whole time. You feel like doing nothing, just lying in bed over-thinking. You don’t feel anything, ANYTHING! Getting a glass of water seems like a herculean task. Your way of thinking, way to react at things, way to proceed with things changes and most of the times this change isn't good. You don't feel like picking any call but deep inside you keep hoping that someone would call and give you a good news that would cheer you up.

Let me tell you my way of getting through this.

Just think you are on your own. The people you trust, love and admire the most might not understand what you are going through. So just try to get through it all alone, you will feel so damn strong after all it is over. That phase is tough. Taking a shower also feels like a pain. You feel flawed all the time. Worthless totally! Let yourself free at that time. Don’t over-think, just don’t think. Smile only when you want to, don’t force yourself for something you don’t want to do. Soon you will feel better when you will get that you can go through this and then you can start thinking all the positive and optimistic stuff.

This unhappiness phase beats the crap out of you. You do feel pathetic and at the end of the day, you are the strongest you have ever been so just be patient while you are in this phase. But remember some or other day it will end. IT WILL.