I hate this feeling.

I hate this feeling.

Knowing that people love you and care for you but you still feel like the most lonely person on earth.

Nonsense fights with people you love make you sick from inside. Sometimes you sort out the problem and sometimes you keep on holding to your ego and the relationship keeps getting screwed in tiny bits. I hate it. Problems will get sorted out sooner or later but it leaves a mark on the relationship. Sometimes the scar is light and goes away but sometimes even if the pain goes away, the deep scar remains there for a really long time.

Fights do make you come close to each other but only if you completely forget about it later. Everything has its consequences.

I hate the feeling of not knowing what to do, the feeling of being helpless, the feeling of trying to be happy and failing at it, the feeling when you know when people are going to stand for you but it is just not going to matter, the feeling when I know from inside that things are changing around me but can't say it out loud, the feeling of being afraid from inside about knowing the ugly truth, the feeling of waiting, the feeling of to be not wanted when I want to be wanted, the feeling of being hopeful that everything is going to be fine when I doubt myself from the inside, the feeling of being in silence, the feeling of missing someone, the feeling of...

I hate it. just HATE it!

Another lesson

Well life is a pretty strict teacher and it keeps you teaching new things even if you do not wish to learn them. You cannot complain about the teacher or quit so the only option left is to accept the damn truth whether it is ugly or beautiful because it is what it is.
Whatever happens, happens for good. That is the mantra. You may not be able to see the good for the time in which you are in pathetic or loser phase but yes when you overcome it, you do see the good.
A friend once told me "Good is always hidden in every fucking negative thing happening  to you, you just need to keep your eyes open." He is right, he always comes up with these super-intelligent talks when I need him to put some sense into me.
Trust your friends. They help you to face the situation life has put you into and if you are lucky enough, they face them with you. Well I don't know about you but yes I AM SO FUCKING LUCKY!
These lessons you will have to learn forever. Since you were born till you die. Situations will test you each and every moment.
Just be enthusiastic and try to learn every lesson with enthusiasm. It is like a game. You will win some and lose some and you will have a new lesson learned every time. They will be good, weird, fun, bad, emotional, disastrous, messy, complicated and much more.  Do not let a bad one to shake you up. The loser feeling will go away some or the other time.
Be strong and be yourself. Remember the plans you had for yourself in mind and soon you will be all right.

Non-virgin soul

You, me and everyone around belong to the category of non-virgin souls. I am a nice person for many and for many I do not give fuck about.  I can't be nice with everyone but I give my 100 percent with the ones I am involved. Yes, I have a non-virgin soul which is cold and calculating at times but I have no regrets about it. Its not a fucked up and fake one at least.

In this era its really difficult to find someone with a pure and genuine soul. No matter how close and loving bonds people share with each other, at a certain point of time one will look out for himself/herself before the other one. It all depends on what kind of situation it is because then only you can judge the person and his/her soul. Never judge a person based on their deeds. If you want to then do it on the basis of the situation they were in.

You need to be strong and sensible to survive in this world full of non-virgin souls.

This soul of ours makes us do various kind of things. The impurity has not been there since birth. It grows with the age and experience. It deepens with time and then just resides with us till we do not hear the inner voice. Sometimes you meet someone who sees the real you and lets you know that this adulteration is not real and can be easily get rid-off. Obviously efforts need to be put but it is not an impossible job.

The soul still remains non-virgin but it is not a fucked up one at least.

Get what you want!

The thoughts inside my mind are all jumbled up. I know the words but do not know how to put them together.Things have been wavy and I have had no issues with it but now I want something good to happen. Something that will make me scream in happiness, cry with the tears of joy, make me sing all day long in my super-torturing voice and make me tap my feet. This all may sound too much but I have experienced all these before and now I want them again! And that would not happen in just a click, I would have to work for it.

I have been through many situations and seen many of my closed ones going through different situations and the best one till now has been 'the confused + its complicated state'. Somewhere you know what you want to do and somewhere you do not want to do that and you being greedy for happiness in that confused and complicated state do not try to confront the truth until the situation gets out of hand. I have been like this many times and I love that state. Obviously the later stage is dramatic and sometimes unpleasant and then you either accept it or fight it. My personal opinion is to fight it back(if you want that thing)because only if you go for it, you get to know what is best for you.

Even if situation is not what you wanted it to be, you get many cute and soothing moments in between which keep you strong from inside. You just need to keep your heart and mind open to analyze everything properly because many times many people just end up whining about the situation. I mean come on, there have to be some moments which would have made you a tiny bit happy in that awful situation.

Do not screw your present thinking about what has happened before and what can happen after. You never know what is next. Yes many times future is predetermined but never forget present is in your hand. You can put all efforts to mold it the way you want and then leave the rest to the one seeing you from above. Have faith in him. In the end you will have whatever is best for you!

And he says...

He says I am closed inside a box.
He says I need to say out loud what is mine.
He says I need to open up and say what is in my mind.
He says I need to see pros before cons
He says I need to have more faith.
He says I need to have hope.
He says I will find someone of my kind one day.
He says I need to get a control over my mood swings.
He says forget the past, live in the present.
He says time keeps changing and you never know what is next?
He says I need to express more.
He says this world is full of liars but I can find honesty if I put my efforts.
And then he says I just need to be myself and when the right time comes he will find me!


Then after a deep pause

I say, I have lost the key to unlock me.
I say, I will be loud enough but what if I lose the control?
I say, I will say my words but who is going to listen to them.
I say, what if there are no pros at all?
I say, I have faith but slowly I am losing it and I dont know how to get it back.
I say, I am always hopeful but now the hope is losing me.
I say, I dont have a kind, I just want right.

I say, the on and off switch of the mood swings do not want to work anymore.
I say, I am way past my past but present does not seem to like me.
I say, I am waiting for the next to happen since when I do not remember now.
I say, I am expressive in my own way only the proper understanding is needed.
I say, I know what is out there in the world but I do not know where to put my efforts.
And then I say, I will be myself one day and I know once he finds me, I wont let him leave ever.
I will give him his goodmorning kiss
I will give him the hug to keep him doing well all day long.
I will put his head in my lap and kiss him goodnight.
I wont make him the king but would make him The Man of my life!
And I sit there quiet and with hope that one day he will find me.

Love it, Live it!

Our mind and heart are full of various kinds of thoughts and emotions. They make us go through various phases. Sometimes we get happy, sad, confused, blank and much more. What is the point of it? At the end of the day, you need to be happy and content with whatever you have in hands because then only you can act sensibly in life and move ahead.
Hurdles come and go. They are not going to be there for lifetime and if you think thats not the case with you then you are wrong. You need to see the positive stuff in the negative things too. God and nature are not so cruel and they never will be.
People accuse you of doing wrong with them, being unfair to them and bla bla. Dont let their thoughts affect your way of thinking. People who actually know you wont judge you for what you did because they know the inner you and what made you did those things which were right according to you but not according to others. You dont need to be good to everyone and please everyone if thats not acting in the right way for you. Learn to give yourself the priority but try not to be selfish.
Life is full of crappy stuff but look closely and deeply, you have enough moments to love it and live it. You just need to keep your eyes wide open for such stuff. Obviously everything comes with a cost. Sometimes you want something out of a thing and it comes with other terms and conditions, you need to decide then that what you want. You want to be stubborn with your choices or compromise a little and enjoy that thing with the terms and conditions too!?
I too hate the things happening around and then I stop thinking about them and get my head straight and do whatever I feel is right for me at the moment instead of thinking about the consequences. At times we all think too much before doing anything and if that goes wrong then we get all sad and depressed and start thinking what went wrong. Why to think so much? Just go with the flow. I am not saying do anything without thinking but yes do not expect and plan so much because many time things do not turn the way you want them to. Learn to be happy in the surroundings you have. they wont be there for too long.
Life is fun and amazing if you stop thinking so much about everything. You have people who make it fun and amazing for you. Your family, your real friends and few complicated(in a good way) relations. So stop cribbing like a little baby and man up yourself for the things you are facing and things yet to come.
Life. Love it, Live it!

Why?

You can add this question to anything and make it weird!

Why did I buy that top, Why dont I listen to my parents even when they are right?, Why dont I sleep on time, Why dont I eat proper food, Why do I get so moody in just a friction of seconds?, Why did I buzz that person, Why dont I reply to that person, Why do I waste my day/s :P, Why did I actually download this crap :|( may be because of someone hot in lead :P), Why do I keep looking at those pictures?, Why I still want to hear those songs at times, Why do 'once important things' do not matter to me anymore and.....

The reason "why?" is in my head is because of the change going to happen in my life right now. I am going to change my city for studies. Yes, I am happy about because it is going to be a whole new life I wanted but now I am like "why I have to leave?"
May be because I am going away from my asshole buddies but I am getting closer to few too so yayyiiee :D. May be because I have gone super-duper ultra lazy from just lazy during my stay at home :P.

Life is going to change now, I know. I will be depressed and stressed due to the pressure but this is the life I chose. This is the life for which I tried (not so hard though :P) for months. But it is going to teach me so many things and I know it will be a beginning to things I am going to love :)
I still think I should have worked hard a bit more and could have landed at the places I wanted! Yes, places( I am greedy). I wanted nice options. Then I would have been the one who would have made the ultimate choice of getting in or out.

It is not like I am going away for years but yes I know I am going away from family :( I wont be a kid like I used to be. I will have to be more responible and crap like grown ups!

And my "why" question again arises for thinking about the stuff I am way past through but still it is popping in my head because of the change! This the reason of hate part of my love-hatred relationship with changes. They make you think weird things and things you do not want to recall.

Anyways I know I am going to be like this for few more days till I start loving the new city, new life, new people around, THE NEW CHANGE!
Damn I love the way life works! And if you add a "why?" to it then you are never going to get an answer and that is the most killing and amazing part!

TRUST

One of the heavist word I have came across. You put it in the wrong thing or wrong person and you are screwed real bad. But people today are too smart. Everyone has trust issues and that is because of the baggage that person is carrying but at the end of the day we are humans. We get fooled some or the other time and we never stop learning from our mistakes. I am talking about one's personal life here not the professional one. If you make such mistakes there then buddy you are actually screwed! (but you can recover from it).

It does not come in a day or two. It requires time.Long time. Good and bad both. If someone tells you just after few days knowing her/him that she/he trusts you then please please please keep in mind that she/he would not take few minutes to get over the situation and certainly she/he is unaware of the meaning of the word.
Emotions and feelings are diluted in this era. People are selfish. You, me and everyone. But what matters is how diluted are the emotions and feelings? Very few times people actually mean what they are saying and even if they mean what they are saying, you never know till when they will stick to their words because feelings do change and the unspoken words do come out one day.

I am not being cynical here but yes this is the scenario. People hurt you intentionally and unintentionally. I am not saying everyone is going to break your trust but yes at some point of time somethings will happen which will shake your trust. You have to hold on then. Do not let it affect your feelings or emotions. Try to be more strong. Life is too short to spend while holding grudges within yourself. Enjoy your life. Let all the emotions and feelings come out. Just because of a single (or sometimes multiple) awful incident, do not change the way you take things. Be more careful but do not hold yourself.

Do not trust someone so much, so that any unpleasant incident can shake you. Trust enough to have a healthy relationship. If the relatinoship is worth it, your intuitions will guide you properly.
So do not deal with emotions as a task. And when it comes to trust, BE CAREFUL!

Memory lane!

It gives you all types of feelings and makes you feel each and every emotion you once had. The laughter, the wtf situations, the sensible and super-matured talks, the songs once on top of your playlist, the idiotic funny situations, desktop and cellphone's wallpapers, the late night maggi meals, the tears, the random and last moment dinners, the super-short crushes, the days with no money in pockets, the moments when your balance went zero and you were desperate to talk and you could do nothing about it, the long hours sitting on the roadside with a bunch of friends, the ugly dirty fights, the last minute submissions, break-ups, patch-ups and much more!
Every moment you live adds to your memories and then you decide whether it is worth memorizing or not and sometimes your heart does the job for you :)
Life sometimes goes through major transition and coping with it gets tough but then the memories created before the transitions make you strong. Life changes and so does the people in it. Memories remain intact and then fade away but even when they are old, you can actually feel the emotion you felt when that thing happened.
Those things define the present you. They have made you what you are now. Some people are afraid of past or do not like to think about it. Personal reasons. But according to me, past makes you strong. It has given you all kinds of memories. It has built your memory lane! Sometimes a little walk through it would do no harm. It will make you realise what you were and what and why you are like this now!? So instead of hating it or running from it, face it. Look at the brighter side and trust me you will enjoy it :)

Paradise

Okay I am not a girl who wants to be rescued by her prince charming from some secret tomb or whatever but yes I am a girl who wants to have her own paradise :)
Everytime I listen to this beautiful word I am lost in its beauty! So simple and serene it sounds.
Wanting a paradise feeling has been there in my mind since I can remember but I never thought it would ever come true! Things are never the way I want them to be.
I do not want a paradise just in a romantic way(I am a piscean and I am romantic at some point of time) but I want a perfect world with my perfect loved ones, who came in and are still there. Some of them promised that they would never leave and some did not promise but it does not matter what they said. What matters is what their actions have said so far.
The best character in my paradise apart from my family members is going to be my best friend. She brings a smile on my face every time I think of her(I do not want to sound gay, but yes this is the truth). The way she has understood me and handled me is simply awesome.
People come and go.
They teach you how to judge between right and wrong, how to hold on and let go, whom to trust and not, not to shed tears on every bad or unpleasant thing, not to want something for lifetime just because you love it, not to get cold and numb because something affected you so bad, let in the strangers because you never know how much they are going to matter to you once you give them a chance(at some point of time everyone was a stranger to you) and more.
They make your paradise, YOUR PARADISE!
But at the end of the day its your paradise so its all in your hands. Do not let anyone change your dream of paradise. The worth ones will just fit in and the ones who are supposed to leave will try to change it(take the hint from there).
Create your own paradise and be HAPPY in it!

I believe

Life is so unpredictable and I love its mysterious ways of working things out !! True beauty it is :)

For one moment you feel nothing and the next moment you can feel all the emotions and then its upto you which one you pick. Pick the one which gives you happiness because you never know for how long it will last(try to believe in your intuitions,they always guide you in the right direction) !!

Recently things have changed around me. It was a good change but always something was missing. It is still missing but now I do not care anymore because I guess I have found something.

Life is like a theatre which keeps on moving and the characters in it also keep changing but the main characters remain there till the end. In our life the main characters are our parents and the other characters take entry in the mid of the play. Its all upto you to predict and think 'Is it one of the main character?'
Obviously you are human so you will make mistakes in predicting it but yess someday finally you will make the right prediction and you will be happy :)

So just move with the flow and keep enjoying each and every moment and listen to your heart(if you have one). Some of them will last for a short span of time but some will go on for a long time. So its worth taking the risks because life is unpredictable as I said earlier and you never know what is going to happen next :)
 

So I leave..

Being a cynic was never my thing but someday or other you become someone or do something you do not want to do.

I have always been more emotional than being practical but now emotions just dont matter to me !!(and I wonder why ??) Yes I am having good old emotional relations but in the new ones as soon as emotions start getting involved, I start choking and prefer to leave.

This is not me. This has never been me. Emotions can never scare me but now they do. I am afraid to get close and then let go. I do not want to get addicted with any thing that I know(or think) is temporary. I am afraid of ending up lonely. Have I got what I deserved ?

So I just leave ...

But sometimes I want to feel the pain so I go down the whole memory lane by myself shedding tears and feeling  the change and it makes me strong but kills me more but I like it.

I am not afraid of pain anymore. All I am afraid of is listening to "Us" after "You and I".

So I leave every single time I sense it.

But I want to return back !! but to whom and when ?? I do not know.

So I will keep on leaving till the day I would not be allowed to leave, till the day my heart would skip its beats, till the day I would be held tight and till the day I would not want to leave !!

A chill goes through my veins !!

Thinking of how I once lived and how it has changed makes me wonder why and how it all changed ??
What was I thinking while doing it, the laughter I shared during those moments, the pain I was hiding in my smile, the senseless jokes I was cracking and everything in between.

I had so many moments then which I loved and now they all are either gone or will be gone. Change is a mandatory part of life and I accept it whenever it comes though  I resist like a stubborn kid. But I have no other option and I hate it !!

A chill goes through my veins when I think of the past, present and future !!
My past haunts me each and every day and there is nothing I can do about it. All I do is just engage myself in something else at the moment. It makes me wonder what if time had never changed, what if the sun never rose that morning, what if I was still the same. Like I was then and the list of questions goes on and on...

But time has changed and I am no more that sweet little girl who always looked for good in anything. I am a cynical woman now and I always look for cons rather than looking for pros.

Emotions and feelings don't flatter me anymore but secretly I am still looking for them though I'm not ready to accept now what I want !!

A chill goes through my veins when I think of the past, present and future !!
Everything is perfect right now in my life but still there is an empty space which I don't know whether I want to get filled or not !!

Parents, friends, hangouts, studies (they never matter though :P), other friends ;), I have got them all but I still want more (yes I am greedy :P but in a good way)

And then I get back into my fun-mode and stop thinking about this emotional stuff :D It feels great to be light-headed with no tensions but at the end of the day I am a girl who somewhere still hopes to meet her Mr Perfect but yes he can wait for like 3-4 years :P
And then again a chill goes through my veins thinking about the fun I am gonna have in the days coming and I love this chill ;)

Betrayal

It happens to us everyday in various forms and when the real thing happens it shakes us from inside making us feel really pathetic,sad and shattered !!
It can come to you from anyone.Your colleague,friend,lover,family anyone !!
Its hard to digest but some or the other time you have to accept the ugly truth.It shakes your beliefs from inside and hence the trust issues start.It affects your personal and professional life and slowly you feel you are getting screwed !!Things turn messy and not a single positive sign can be seen anywhere.Thats the after-effect of the crappy stuff you have to deal with when you did not have a single fucking fault(well sometimes you do) !!
But as i said in my previous blog "shit happens",you have to keep the faith alive not for the shit to get right but for something good to happen because good times do come after the bad ones.
But are we over the betrayal that shook us upside down or we just try to forget it with the good things happening around ??
Well the memories get buried inside the heart and they come alive at times haunting us through the painful lane.
People break their promises,dont stick to their words,have a change in their emotions and crap !!
All that makes you feel sick from inside but its good for none.Eventually you realise you are on your own with no one around and you have to manage the things around yourself and you start being stone-hearted,practical and rational !!
It is good to be like that but too much of it turns up bad for you only.
So just dont make yourself so vulnerable that anything can change you so much and affect your daily life !!
So live for yourself,eat for yourself,sleep for yourself,fuck for yourself and do every single damn thing for yourself.Dont make yourself easy.
Care for your loved ones from all of your heart and you will get back what you deserve but do care for yourself too.
Betrayal may happen many times and you will lose all your positive hopes but do remember karma is one hell of a bitch and it does come back with a bang !! Keep faith !!

Shit happens !!

There are stuff which are just beyond your control and you keep asking "why me ?" and you wont get an answer ever.Well that is a sick and unfair rule of nature !!
People act stupid at times and its completely unintentional but still they pay for it heavily and the people acting that way always have something in their head so instead of punishing them for their mistakes one should actually try to know what is actually going on !! (shit)
People blame you for things you did not intend to do and because of your love and respect for them you take the blame and then pay for it !!(shit)
People slowly change their priorities and instead of appreciating it,they are criticised for the way they are.Come on the person is trying to be what you want him/her to be so respect it !!(shit)
People(students specifically) prepare for exams and they dont turn out the way they expected !!(real shit).So adults reading this be supportive to the younger ones instead of judging and giving a hard time.The person is already having it.Dont put cherry on the cake !!
The list is looonggg but these were some unfair things which happen and can be answered too,there are many which are unanswerable so we should stop seeking answers for them btu we wont ever.
People go through pathetic and sad break-ups in which they have poured all their heart and soul(being honest and loyal,no looking at other guy/gal,no flirting,no fantasizing :P etc etc) but still they get apart from their loved one :( and the only question then arises is "why me ?"
Sorry,but there is no answer for it.
Some people dont put their heart and soul but still they give their best and after putting millions of efforts also they dont get what they want.Again no answer for it !!
People move to different place and then circumstances change and the relationship change !! we keep asking why he/she has changed after moving and again no answer !!
And then our beloved friends say "shit happens dude,just have some faith"
Actually they are right.We need to have faith in ourselves and in universe.It cant be so cruel to good people.Bad ones out there will definitely get their asses kicked somehow but good ones will settle with the best things :)
Shit does happen and it will keep happening till your last day on the planet but always remember "At the end,everything gets right.If its not right then its not the end" :)

 

Tears

Its just water coming out of our eyes at various moments. We cry out of pain, we are too happy to express our emotions, the onion is too strong, we are driving too fast and much more! The list of reasons just goes on and on.
I used to cry a lot when I was a little baby. It used to give me a feeling of being weak and later I realized that I was just not able to control my emotions. I learned how to control it and still sometimes I cry but not so often and I don't feel weak anymore. I like those things getting out of my head in form of tears and once they are gone they just lose the power to make me cry and then I am like "Screw you" to that problem!
But its not so easy always. Somethings just keep coming in your head again and again and make you go all quiet and lost.
By just listening to a song, having a nice emotional conversation, having a memory in your mind, seeing a scene in movie or something, going through old hidden photographs and boom the flow starts! It is not in our control then and the best thing to do then is to cry as much as you want to and let go all the feelings(they can be either bad or good)which are making you cry.
Tears of pain can be really hurtful which keeps on coming at unwanted times for a long time. Sometimes they are easy to control and sometimes they are even worse than the reason. The pain which comes out in the form of tears is so strong. That mind needs so much of love and care and if it does not get it then it just keep screwing with itself! The person goes in a very famous mode called depression.
And the tears of joy! Well they are priceless. The happiness and peace they give is so soothing and refreshing that the person would not want anything more than that but in this selfish, crazy and bitchy world many few humans are blessed with the tears of joy so just enjoy the moment when life gives you those tears because it is a rare thing.
It would not happen often.What happens often would just fuck up with your mind and everything. So be prepared to have those kind of tears more and soon you will realize either you are out of tears or the reasons behind those tears do not bother you anymore and that is kind of a nice feeling.

Plans

Do they always work the way you want them to?
Well not always but sometimes they do.
I had my plans but lately they are not working the way they should. Few days more and the results will be in front of me and they are going to decide my whole one year and I have got a hunch that I will be screwed real bad.
It creeps me out when I know I am the loser now. I know I could have put more efforts and I can come up with zillion reasons why I did not but that would be cheating myself only. Its not like I was sitting like a lazyass doing nothing. I did work for the things I wanted but I did not give my best shot!
Things have not turned as I expected them to be and now here I am, clueless and helpless. All the mess I have done is in front of me and I do not know how to clean it up!
At some places I did really good but it seems it is not enough.The main thing got screwed.
People expected more out of me, I disappointed them and seeing their reactions now gives me that loser feeling more and more.
Instead of the judgement and lame opinions, I want some support and love.
Everyone screws up and what they want at that time is some understanding and support not judgement and criticism! If you cannot give the first two things then do not bother to give the last two. Its good to be straight-forward but there are always gentle ways to express your views.
So if the person is already feeling low because the plan did not work well then do not judge. Let him/her be rational again and then he/she will take the best decisions.
All they NEED to get back on the plan is some TIME and SUPPORT!

Sex or love making?

This is one topic on which i can keep on talking and talking :P
Talking about sex/making love is still a taboo in the society but who cares now !!


Who does not want to do it? No one. Obviously which sexually normal person does not want to be loved?

Its just people do not say it out loud. I do not understand what is the problem in it. If you consider it as a personal issue then its fine but if you are yourself doing it and pretending it as a big deal in front of others then you are no less than a hypocritical jackass! And you are surrounded by such jackasses and may be you are also one of them(no offence).

Now the question is, does sex and love making have the same concept?
Umm well biologically its same but mentally it differs from person to person. Out of lust if you are doing it then its definitely sex and if you are getting emotionally, physically and mentally connected with your partner while doing it then you are making love and it is going to be one of the best memories of your life (Do not ever regret it if you are no more with that person)
Our parents did not have sex when we came on this planet, they made love and making us and then raising us(if you are not an asshole) gives them all the pleasure and peace in the world!

Love making is one of the most beautiful concept of nature which is obviously ruined by us humans by various ways like rape and pornography.
But seriously very few people believe in this love making thing. They go for sex and enjoy it. Friends with benefits, fuck buddies etc are the new ways of defining when you are getting laid. Its entirely one's choice. At the end of the day you are doing it and enjoying it.
Everyone out there who has done it or doing it is not a horny bastard or slut.
There is always a story behind it and the reason can be anything, love or lust or need, anything!

Frozen feelings

We say time moves on and so does the feelings but do actually the feelings(I am talking about real feelings, not some stupid idiotic temporary ones) change by themselves or we change them by deciding what to feel and what not to?

Time passes away so quick when you are happy and when you are not, you actually realize each and every second! But we keep moving on, after all we are humans of the modern age but we should actually ask ourselves do we really move on or leave behind the past? Try not to answer it if you are not strong enough to handle the truth right now.

And feelings!
Well they can be bad or good. Bad ones make our eyes go tearful and the good ones bring the best smile on our face.
And here I ask the same question again, Do we really move on from the bad ones?
NO(this is the answer of a cynical person)
We say we have moved on to feel strong in front of others and ourselves but when anything related happens we go back in past for at least few seconds and then it entirely depends on us, for how much time we live in our past then.
Past never actually leaves us, it stays forever and keeps reliving all feelings time to time.
We tend to move away from anything that is unpleasant and we do the same with the feelings. Trying to get rid of them is the most stupid human effort because its our heart which feels not the practical brain so when it comes to feelings brain+heart is the best combo. Trust me!                                                        
These frozen feelings are a pain in the ass sometimes but then thinking how much time has changed us from that time is a relief only when you have gone matured and if you have not then get matured!
But seriously there is always a smile on our face thinking about the time before the tsunami of painful feelings hit us and that is the actual pretty smile because a feeling is painful only if you have had the best time before that.